Choices vs. Fate: How Astrological Synastry Helps Us Find Meaning
Of all the people we meet in a lifetime, why do some linger in our minds?
I believe certain moments in life are fated, but not everything. When we step back and reflect on the most meaningful relationships or turning points — no matter where they land on the spectrum of human emotion — many of us sense a quiet inevitability. We may not be able to fully explain it, yet there’s an inner knowing that we wouldn’t be who we are without having crossed paths with certain people.
Sometimes we embody parts of them to honor their memory. In some cases, we change precisely to defy what they represented and never outgrew. Other times we carry indifference or ambiguity, perhaps because our soul needed to explore non-allegiance. Meaning rarely arrives in the moment; it ripens with time and introspection. Through that process, we begin to understand the deeper why behind the connections that shape us.
Astrological synastry offers a pathway for that exploration. Synastry compares birth charts to reveal how one person’s energy activates another’s, showing us the energetic dance between people. Through synastry we see where harmony flows, where thorns may appear, and where karmic threads might be begging for attention.
It doesn’t decide whether a relationship is “good” or “bad.” Relationships, after all, are incredibly layered. But for all the time we spend carrying and pondering the “why” behind certain events and outcomes, synastry helps us answer that question. That empowers us to engage with it differently, too, from a place of expanded consciousness and awareness.
In a recent consultation, a client described ongoing tension with a colleague whose energy often felt suddenly cold and distant. She felt judged, even shamed, when this happened. Comparing their charts, I noticed her moon and Venus in Scorpio squared her colleague’s Chiron and Mercury in Leo. My client’s instinct for deep emotional exchange (Scorpio) may feel overwhelming to her colleague, whose placements suggests sensitivity, possibly even fear, around self-expression (Chiron conjunct Mercury in Leo). Neither person is wrong, but their thresholds for personal sharing are very different. With that insight, my client can approach conversations with more compassion while still honoring her own need for authenticity and depth.
That’s the gift of synastry: It reframes relationship dynamics as opportunities for understanding rather than verdicts of right or wrong.
If you’re curious about the unseen threads connecting you to others, a synastry session can help you meet those connections with insight, compassion, and choice. You can book these 1:1 consultations through my website.
